You Are Never Far...

I close my eyes
I wake
You are there
in that space
I cannot numb.
Your smile
Your hands
white pillars
in fire
as my head
tilted back
flame and desire
against you
until
you begged me
give me you.
How then this ordinary
love does sting
when compared
to those days
those nights
when rain on car roofs
we could not wait.
But this is steady
it is stable
it is
not you.
You call
just to remind me
I will always
somehow
someway
some deep dark place
be yours.
You would dance at my wedding
except
there would be tears
in both our eyes.
Perhaps I will not marry.
Perhaps I will
just to punish you.
Perhaps I will simply
miss you in the dark
or when I drive
without thinking
past that park.
Oh, love, strange
are the stories
written for lovers
who didn't know
that it was love
until it wasn't.
So tonight
I drink
I dream
and I try
to expiate you
lover
demon
soul
heart of my heart
obsidian
sin.