Making Love To The Disabled

You smile beautifully on a blue sky Friday
from a book cover that many will read.
You are happy, at least in theory.
I should veil these lines because that is what
poets are known for; the subtle rife invocation
whispering vowels and consonants to dance the soul
precipice of self in which we too often swim.

Yes, your eyes, love, are as novel as these
raspy pages rough like your skin once felt
beneath my palms seeking understanding.
Your technicolor sight vivid as the kiss
given in haste between passing visitors
on a cold winter's night: Lesson of the Silver Chair.

Some would say you are defined by your limitations.
I know your limitations are not physical, they
are deeper and darker, a vile black hatred
masked behind an actor's slick facade.
I wonder if she knows she is making love
to the disabled? Love is blind and mute.

Love, your hands cannot hurt me the way your
petulant discourse can when the world just
isn't what you wanted at the moment for it
to be. No, your hands sharp scarring skin
never hurt me like your dissatisfaction.

Does she cringe in the silent tirade of loathing
whose focus internal bleeds discomfort across pillows
sighs and shuffles into doubt the meaning of love?
How could love ever last in this blue sky homage
to emotional debilitation. Dead, alive, buried.

What right word would have changed the varying
minutia in poignant silence to sweet close comfort
instead of indifferent dismissal for sins uncounted.
How can anyone love your disabled heart and survive?

Your missives that once broke the monotony of my day
are still missed, but I know whatever it was that
lay me bare against you was closer to the blind and deaf
trying to tap out forgiveness, love, and fury in the dark
to a God that neither of us remembered from our youth.

Yet, I listen. I wait for the intrusion that tells me
that your warm cheek against mine dreaming was not
a utilitarian catechism to affirm you are alive.
Instead I hope it was a panacea that sent you Lazarus
into her arms to share the story that love is real.