Hard Truths

The world shudders to a halt

Its a difficult swallow

Before hot breath

And cold words

Blackness and apathy

For another day;

A life time of this?

Love requires falling

But if you break

You may never walk again.

Yet here I am 

Trying to stand against

This velvet siren song

Calling me home

Away from all the hurt

Scars that burn me

Tears unshed for all the things

I will never get right

And you

After it is all out

Smile

Because you know me

Better than anyone else.

And I smile

Because I know 

I can't live without you.

Broken Promises

I can still feel your cotton white shirt 

beneath my fingers

against my cheek.

Your smell of spice and metal

lingers years later.

No matter how many days pass

I will always know you

always wonder

why the story sent you into her arms.

His eyes so like mine until he smiles

break my heart

over and over

a thousand times daily 

because that glint 

is you.

I wonder often if his eyes

bring me into your thoughts

or if I have been erased

completely from you.

Do you ever miss the feel of me

or the sound of my voice?

I cannot say why the world is cruel

or how strangers always gain

what you covet most.

I cannot say how this child will ever

feel safe or home.

I only know that when it's late at night

I still hear you talking in the dark

hot breath against my hair

your arms like safety circling me;

a memory or a dream.

I miss you even though I swear to myself

I will never dream of you again.

I hate myself for the weakness

I hate you for your absence

and then I love you

all over again

when his angel face rests against my cheek

telling me good night.